Wednesday, 28 March 2012

Spring Love ... The Climax

     As promised I have the answer to how to find that love of your life. While I can’t speak for any of the other on-line dating services I can assure you that eHarmony works. It was like finding me with long hair, minus the beard.  We match in so many ways it is scary. Even scarier, she agrees.

     There are some ways YOU can beat the system though and find one of those ‘normal’ relationships. You know, the ones that are as unlikely to work as you are to win the other lotteries.

     The big problem that separates you from failure is the propensity most users of those services have for telling the truth. What kind of a relationship can possibly develop from a display of honesty?

     To begin with, you can count on one of the real nice things life has to offer. Bait and switch works well in merchandising but is illegal. It doesn’t work in on line dating but IS legal. Use that to your advantage.

     For years I ‘borrowed’ Bill Gates’ picture for my profile picture. All I ended up with were a lot of replies from angry gold-diggers. Perhaps I was too obvious. There are many people out there who are better looking than you are but are not as well known as Bill is. Pick a picture of one of those and use it, keeping your little secret right up to the time you have your first face to face meeting with your potential bride. Works the same way every time but be aware that some unscrupulous ladies use the same trick.

     There are bound to be other secrets you can hold onto until the last minute if you use an alias. Background checks on ‘that guy’ are not going to have a careful respondent finding out anything about your criminal record. Pictures of you standing in the yard of an estate or next to a hot car can be usefully deceptive as well.

     About the worst thing you can do is reveal something in the “I’m looking for” section, so don’t hesitate to do so. The mention that you would like a mate who has a nice house because you are tired of living in your mother’s basement and the smell down there that has been getting worse lately is often a deal killer. Likewise, that you are about to enter your fourth drug rehab program may set off an alarm.

      For the few of you who actually WANT a successful match if you fill out EVERY question accurately you are likely to be matched with someone who is possibly that girl you are looking for but are not sure really exists. Beyond the long list of simple questions try to be a little descriptive and precise in answering those little ‘essay questions’.

      You would be surprised at how many people are passed over when they say that they are looking for someone ‘that will be honest and care about me’. Pretty much everybody using the service wants that.

     If, on the other hand, you mention that you’d like to meet someone with an RV and an itch to see the country, your results will be different. You’ll chase away the motorcycle gang aficionado, the homebody, and the tent camper but you’ll actually find someone who wants to ride around with you in an RV seeing the country. Weird as they are, those guys are out there.

     The better you express yourself the better your chances for attracting the attention of someone you might meet, get along with, and go charging down the path to the rest of your life with.

      You will, regardless of how you respond to your questions, get a number of men who start out expressing their interest in having sex with you and then following up with telling you about how they’d like to have sex with you, especially if you are a woman. I have not run into that problem as a man. Not a single pair of virtual panties was ever tossed onto my podium.

   eHarmony has anticipated this as have, I’m fairly sure, the other online dating services.  It is set up to provide plenty of protective anonymity and ways to ‘ignore’ anyone you would rather not hear from again. You have nothing to fear from this likelihood. If, on the other hand, that is what you are looking for you can count on these guys having a few other things in common with you, even if you might not get around to discovering them for a while.

      All I can promise you is that you are much more likely to end up where you want and to be, and with whom, than you would be in the bar, the church, or the grocery store. It is the best way to turn the odds of finding your soul mate in your favor that I know of. It often really works.

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