The Biggest Loser

The smoke is almost clear, well more clear than most of what is in my head. This time the smoke wasn’t the voices burning popcorn up there. I stride up to my makeshift podium.

This blog is going to be great again. It is going to be SOOOooo Great. There are so many ways I can go with it. Mark Twain and Will Rogers are spinning in their graves because they can’t be here. Eat your hearts out fellas. I am though I can’t really carry your torches.

There were three really great events this year; in Cleveland, in Chicago, and in the presidential election. I predicted all three incorrectly so if you are looking for wisdom you might as well click another link. I’ll give humor my best shot since that is what this blog is supposed to be about. By the way, the devil got at least the last one right but he cheated. He owns the top three horses in the race.

The departing democrats might do us a favor by swiping all the computer keyboards instead of just the “W” keys as they leave.

Pennsylvania really was the “Keystone State” as they put the Donald over the top. It’s going to take at least a day or two to clean all the crap off of the floor where the democrats’ victory party was supposed to carry on through the night. My wife thought she had it rough with the new puppy … Hillary may yet show up to thank her supporters … or not. That reminds me; I have to phone a friend in Pennsylvania today to thank him for his vote.

Reality TV has become real life. This one is the Biggest Loser season finale. The real biggest loser might be the audience which I have been pointing out for years now. Of course, also like the TV reality shows we were given plenty of drama over the past year and a lot of viewers don’t like the final result. Hillary probably won’t be invited back for a third shot, thankfully.

The only real winners were the humor writers who are probably going to have plenty of fodder for the next few years. This event reminds me of the elephant that has been eating junk food for quite a while but has a large cork in his butt. The voters just pulled the plug. It’s going to be pretty messy for a while but it’s going to get better soon. It has to.

Then again, we haven’t heard the punch line yet. With a new President in Trump and a republican congress it’s coming soon. It could be really great or fall flat. The professional writers haven’t written this one.

We are about to find out how much Donald likes Putin, if Trump really knows more than the generals, and maybe witness some grade school play-yard negotiations. I wonder how many great looking women will be offered spots in his cabinet and how many will accept. We know there will be one in the white house, though probably not as many as there were during Bill’s presidency, not counting Hillary of course. The fun is just starting.

 It may not be just the evangelicals calling Dial-a-Prayer now.

   Yes. The democrats have been kicked out of the house and they are taking their trash with them or it is about to be tossed out. I have to wonder if Obama’s portrait will hang in the hall of presidents facing out and, if it is, will it look anything like him? Why be honest now? I might be saying the same about Trump in four years. I know I’d be saying it about Hillary if she had won.

Gary Johnson is the only one of the top candidates who got any sleep last night, probably with the help of a good joint. I know I didn’t until the iron wall of the rust belt disintegrated before the eyes of the Clinton family.  Of course, this frees up the Clinton foundation to wreak havoc, though the donations might dry up fairly quickly with neither the Godfather nor the Godmother soon to be wielding political power any time soon. Someday soon the thesaurus is going include “regime” “conspiracy” and “connivance” after “Foundation”.

Right at the start the employment picture should get worse. A lot of pollsters and prognosticators have failed at their jobs. The picture might get brighter for the airlines fairly quickly though. A lot of people said they would leave the country if Trump won. I think one was a Supreme Court justice. We’ll get a good picture of his her its honesty now.

Reading back over this … it’s time for me to take a nap but then again it usually is.